Have you ever had a habit that began as a coping mechanism?

We can enroll all of the known ones in there: people pleasing, self silencing, over sacrificing, over working, under achieving, etc. 

Some of these subconscious behaviors can feel like just like this:

All of these unconscious (but noticeable) behaviors can feel like a loop where one passes GO but neglects to collect 200 in crispy cash and instead collects self doubt, lost confidence, inner conflict and reduced happiness. It’s kinda like landing on GO TO (emotional) JAIL. The loop keeps repeating exactly like in a game of Monopoly where our inner child keeps taking their turn at the dice and replaying the same board, getting the same results, and slowly draining their emotional bank account by paying emotional tolls they are unaware that they’ve signed up for.

We truly go through these laps and wonder, why does this happen to me? Why do I keep repeating this same thing?

The not so simple answer: we haven’t emotionally decoded the why behind the “it” (the decision, bad relationship, habit, etc, etc etc.) and so our safety switch gets stuck on “this feels safe so we will take another go… again).

What might’ve started as something that felt safe becomes everything but. 

You might be thinking… is something wrong with me?

Nope. Not at all.

As humans we love to think that we are thinking rationally but our subconscious also has a vote. What might start out as a one person decision is actually a whole team inside of us running versions of stories that were lived in the past that created programs to keep us safe in those same moments. Until these patterns are not decoded, what we do is simple “what we do, how we are, and that’s just me!” The reality is that what we do, isn’t who are and that the only thing that is ever Just US is the fact that we are wonderful at changing as it is all we ever truly do, constantly (even not changing IS change… you can read about that paradox here) but in the meantime, I leave you with the following words:

Every day changes and so do we. If that sparked a little something you’re in the right place. 

All that it stakes to change at the deepest level is a tiny little spark: the one we just lit. 

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